Agent Sillyboots

Can't even let a funeral be a funeral.

2006-02-07T21:19:00.000-06:00

"She extended Martin's message against poverty, racism and war. She deplored the terror inflicted by our smart bombs on missions way afar. We know now that there were no weapons of mass destruction over there," Lowery said.
...

"But Coretta knew, and we know," Lowery continued, "That there are weapons of misdirection right down here," he said, nodding his head toward the row of presidents past and present. "For war, billions more, but no more for the poor!" The crowd again cheered wildly.

I guess it's just about impossible to have one solemn moment where politics kind of take a back seat, at least for a little while. Mrs. King's funeral could've been the perfect time to settle down and mourn the loss of a life. But no! Personal political beliefs had to be frivilously injected once again.

I suppose the few weeks after 9/11 were the United States' last times of politic-free solitude. In a post-9/11 world, politics go with every situation as easily as milk goes with chocolate brownies.

Agent Sillyboots out.

We'll teach you what we do to real perverts around here...

2006-01-04T17:07:00.000-06:00

I'm just not sure what this was meant to do. Perhaps it was meant to get the other fighter into some sort of off-balance state. Who knows. Plus, it's funny to hear the little Japanese guy say "homosexual."

I do have a friend who was in a similar situation. An older guy was getting up in his face and talking smack and my friend licked his nose. That pretty much ended all of that. It's still funny to this day.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Carson Daly's a fake

2006-01-04T01:07:00.000-06:00

So I'm sitting around the house tonite, a bit tipsy, and I'm watching TV. I see the Carson Daly Show or whatever and he's wearing some tiny dress jacket. He says that maybe he can do "the Chris Farley thing." So he says...get this....

"Fat man in a little jacket...."

The crowd loves it.

Hey, you pseudo-trendy pop has-been, it's "Fat guy in a little coat."

TRL has moved on. Maybe you should, too.

Agent Sillyboots out.

You were our boy, Blue.

2006-01-03T11:23:00.000-06:00

Patrick Cranshaw, just another actor who achieved cult-like status because of a comedy movie, died on January 1, 2006.

You know him as Blue.

This is just a tribute.

Agent Sillyboots out.

P.S. It seems that "Blue" was born in Bartlesville, OK (my home state). He also helped entertain our troops before WWII. What a guy.

Big Screen Version

2005-12-14T13:10:00.000-06:00

Genius!

Enjoy the whole thing, but do listen for the use of the word "nipple clips."

Via GM.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Tookie Died

2005-12-13T14:29:00.000-06:00

Finally! Now all of us in the White People Guild of America (a coalition with 20 kazillion evil white people) can rest knowing that we've executed yet another black person who did nothing else but be black. Yay! Watch out, black people! We (and by "we", I mean "every white person in America because everyone of us obviously hates all black people") are roaming the streets looking for dark skinned people to persecute.

Look what we did in New Orleans! I bet you didn't know that White People can control the weather. I bet you didn't know that White People can create storms that specifically target blacks. Sure showed you!

But honestly, people...

I doubt that racism had anything to do with Gov. Schwarzenegger denying clemency to Tookie Williams. I think it had a bit more to do with Williams' brutal slaying of four people in two different instances. If race was involved at all, it was Tookie's racist hatred for white people that caused him to murder Albert Owens. Let's not forget the Tawainese Yang family that Tookie murdered. Do black people hate Asians now?

When James Byrd, Jr. (a black man) was murdered in Texas, there were all types of calls for the (white) men who did it to be dealt with...harshly. Well, 2 of them were sentenced the death penalty and one life in prison. Jesse Jackson threw his two cents in there, as well.

If Tookie had committed those heinous crimes in Texas anytime after 2001 (where the Democrat-supported "James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act" allows for tougher penalties in crimes where a discriminatory bias was the motive), he would've definately been sentenced to the death penalty anyway. Ah, the irony.

I suppose the boys at South Park were right when they held a trial for Cartman (a white kid) because he threw a rock at Token (a black kid). The judges decision:

If you're going to commit a crime against someone, you'd better make damn sure that they're the same color as you.

I'm glad that Tookie found peace with himself (if that's true) and I'm glad that he tried so hard to keep kids out of gangs. But his gang membership was not on trial back in 1981. It was the murder of 4 human beings. He can renounce and show sadness for gang membership and black-on-black violence all day long, but that in no way relates to his case at all. He never even admitted guilt for the crimes he was convicted. Why in the world would anyone even consider granting this man clemency for murders he still claims he's innocent of and shows no remorse for?

Wasn't a lack of remorse sort of a defense-killer for Scott Peterson? He never appeared like he even cared about what he had done. It didn't sit well with the jury.

But oh well. The Peterson case was white-on-white violence. Murder is never really serious until someone throws a little soul into the mix.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Think about it.

2005-12-03T23:05:00.000-06:00

Take this home. Chew on it. Tastes good, don't it?

But really, it makes sense.

Agent Sillyboots out.

UPN, here we come.

2005-12-03T22:51:00.000-06:00

Wow...just wow. I knew it. Al Sharpton's been acting like a crazed idiot for years just to set up a half-season of unfunny crap. I love this quote, though:

He added that in the show, "I am the center of a family with different social and political views and we crack jokes and confront each other but are a family."

I'm glad he's started with the black jokes early and has already made use of the word "crack."

Agent Sillyboots out.

Still Here

2005-12-01T20:12:00.000-06:00

Man, I've been busy. And not "busy" in the classical sense...like..."I've had a lot of things to do lately and no time to post." More like..."I'm a lazy douche...and that's it."

I just haven't felt like posting much lately. It's the holiday season and it's been busy at my job. My partner at work was sick all last week and this week she's been on vacation.

Thanks, Sam!

Also, a good friend of mine from work has been having health problems and he's going to be in a lot of pain for a while. For those of you who like to mention names in your prayers, his name is Cozax. He's good people.

I've had some cool things go on in the past few weeks and I'll get to some of them tomorrow since I'm off. Hopefully I'll have some pictures, too.

Agent Sillyboots out.

I'll bet he claims the LAPD did it...

2005-11-09T17:41:00.000-06:00

What would urge someone to do this? Was it a bet? Who knows? It's funny, though.

Please beware that there are NSFW ads on this page. Nekid people. I have no idea how videos like this end up on pages with such raunchy pictures on it.

Another gem from GM.

Agent Sillyboots out.

What a twist!

2005-11-09T17:20:00.000-06:00

I consider myself a pretty smart guy. But I still didn't even see this coming.

NSFW: loud cussing.

Via GorillaMask, of course.

Agent Sillyboots out.

lol...Trashlee Simpson

2005-11-04T13:04:00.000-06:00

WWTDD? is quickly becoming an aphrodesiac for me. Well, maybe not. But I do like the site and all of the pictures he manages to find.

Here's a great piece of video that shows Ashlee Simpson in her element: McDonald's at 1:30am, completely drunk.

Boy howdy, wouldn't she be fun to hang around with? Nope.

Via GorillaMask.

Agent Sillyboots out.

What a job

2005-11-02T17:17:00.000-06:00

So I was looking at WWTDD? and came across this gem.

"There was more discussion about Superman’s package than anything else on the suit. Was it too big? Was it not big enough? Was it too pointy? Too round? It was somebody’s job for about a month, just working on codpiece shapes."

Yeah, real nice. I would love to see the emails that the "Codpiece Shape Engineer" sent back home to his mom trying to explain his role in the new Superman movie.

"Dear mom,

I'm so excited to be working on the new Superman movie! I did get a decent job and my role is at the ~~foreskin~~ forefront of the entire project. My ~~phallus~~ talent will really come through. I have a chance to work my way up the ~~testicle~~ ladder here in Hollywood. Everyone on the project has been ~~sexy~~ great so far and I expect a decent ~~bulge~~ check for my work on this ~~penis~~ project. I'll write you later with more ~~coitus~~ details.

~~Balls~~ Love,

Your Son"

Agent Sillyboots out.

Still Around

2005-11-02T17:08:00.000-06:00

I've been on vacation since October 28th and I haven't really been at home. I'm not even at home now. I'm about 11 hours away from home living it up. When I get back, I'll hopefully keep myself on a more regular posting basis. As for now and until around Friday, I might not post again.

In my absence, fill your eyes with these media buffets:

GorillaMask

Ebaums World

What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Maddox

Agent Sillyboots out.

Now here's an informative headline, or not.

2005-10-18T14:22:00.000-05:00

Someone got lazy.

That's like saying, "Eating raw sewage may lead to various diseases, or not."

Via Gorilla Mask.

Agent Sillyboots out.

What game did he actually have in mind?

2005-10-12T19:19:00.000-05:00

If "hide the salami" wasn't the game that DNC Chairman Howie D. had in mind when he made this reckless remark, then I'm curious as to what game exactly he was thinking of. (Go to that link and click on the "Launch" button to watch Dean further his career as a buffoon).

Maybe he was thinking of "find the tea cup", which I heard he used to play with his Aunt Rose under the covers.

Via Gorilla Mask.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Just a Thought

2005-09-25T14:25:00.000-05:00

I think my new favorite series is Six Feet Under. I've been watching Season 1 on DVD and I just can't quit watching. They did a great job casting the roles and the writing is top notch. The characters and situations bring to life the career of "undertaker" and shows how human nature can be at its lowest, whether its in the life of a "customer" or the undertakers themselves.

The character that I'm not a fan of, however, is Brenda, the "counter-culture" artsy feminist who was writing novels at the age of 5. She's way too high maintenance. She puts her boyfriend through so many pointless trials and she expects him to completely accept everything about her without asking any questions.

However, she did make a very interesting observation. Her, her brother, and her boyfriend were talking about the death of a 6 year old boy from a self-inflicted shotgun wound. Her brother talks about other cultures and how they view the death of a child. He says that it's so needlessly taboo in our society to talk about a dead child because our culture is so adament about its ability to reverse the order of nature. Brenda offers subtle insight as to why it may be taboo to discuss a dead child in our culture: "It's odd. When your spouse dies, you're called a widow. If you're a child and your parents die, you're called an orphan. But what about a parent who loses a child? There's no name for that. Maybe it's something so horrible that it doesn't even have a name."

Indeed.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Important Studies

2005-09-25T13:25:00.000-05:00

I was looking online to see when I was going to have to forget to turn my clock back for Daylight Saving Time (I did find out that the official spelling is Daylight Saving Time instead of Daylight Savings Time...so you need to update your vernacular). I found this site explaining the whole deal. An interesting tidbit for you:

"On August 8, 2005, President George W. Bush signed the Energy Policy Act of 2005. This Act changed the time change dates in the U.S. Beginning in 2007, DST will begin on the second Sunday of March, and end the first Sunday of November. Note that the Secretary shall report to Congress on the impact of this change. Congress retains the right to revert the Daylight Saving Time back to the 2005 time schedules once the Department study is complete."

O...kay. Is this still an issue? It's odd that in our modern time, we would rather force time itself to bend to our laziness. Instead of people just getting up and going to bed earlier like Benjamin Franklin suggested (and thus adapting to our planet's natural environment), we have our federal government actually wasting time (and daylight...ironic!) to actually discussing this in front of God and Congress. Well, I hope the "Department study" into the "impact" of the change of DST will be a fruitful one.

I'm just waiting on a "Department study" on the "impact" of when they change "401(k)" to just "401k."

Agent Sillyboots out.

Whetsel's Army

2005-09-21T19:24:00.000-05:00

As I've posted before, I'm in a Halo clan on Xbox Live. We get together at random times during the week and always on Sunday nites to play custom games and if we're feeling ballsy, we'll try a Big Team Battle or Major Clanmatch.

The masterful Pvt. Whetsel and his German webmaster partner-in-crime ShortBusKid (Mikey) put together a great website for us that I've plugged before. However, they've changed quite a bit and have added a slew (yes, I said slew) of new features and little add-ons that make it a good piece of internet ass.

Also, look down at the lower right hand corner of our front page and watch Mikey's little roster thingie so he'll shut up about it.

Again, my Xbox Live handle is Sillyboots...if you dare.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Misdirected Hostilities

2005-09-20T11:29:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's just me, but I really think this could fall under the category of misappropriation of federal funds. A "porn squad" is not a worthwhile effort, I don't believe. That's a waste of taxpayer money that could go towards getting us out of Iraq a few months earlier. Porn is going to exist in some form and I think it's reasonably confined to "appropriate" media. Private companies (aka "not federally funded") are taking it upon themselves to manufacture and market products that help eliminate accessible pornography to children, whether it be on the internet, the TV, and soon coming to cell phones. I think that's capitolism and a free market in action. That's ok. There is a perceived need for that service and so a private company is fulfilling that need. No problem there. It's when the federal government decides that it wants to step in and say that it has the authority to "investigate obscenity cases" which would lead to prosecution of consenting adults who committed no actual crime other than getting freaky deaky in front of a video camera, which is no real crime at all.

The only thing I see the federal government even becoming somewhat legitmate at investigating is people who knowingly and blatantly offer pornography to children. Perhaps they could start with those spammers who keep sending me links to "fun down on the farm", "grandma and grandson share a fishing trip", and "all the scat you can handle." Those people are the true terrorists. Yuck.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Here We Go Again

2005-09-19T18:13:00.000-05:00

Read.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Needing Ideas

2005-09-19T17:05:00.000-05:00

I'm looking for some good songs dealing with angels, demons, the afterlife, etc. I'm in search of some good rock songs, instrumentals, overtures, whatever you can find. If you'll leave a comment here including the name of the song, artist, and where I can find the song, that'd be great. Yeah.

Thanks guys.

Agent Sillyboots out.

No such thing as bad publicity

2005-09-16T00:10:00.000-05:00

I was flipping through the channels late tonite - as is my custom - and came across the tailend of a Daily Show report. Ed Helms was the correspondent. Right at the very end, I saw them flash up a picture of Cory Burnell. I was curious as to why they were showing Cory Burnell (president of the Christian Exodus) on The Daily Show. So I stayed up and watched my regular anime shows until today's Daily Show repeated. I watched the whole segment and it centered around a guy who was planning to move to South Carolina and join up with a group whose intent was to establish a conservative, Christian political base there.

Yes, I'm talking about Christian Exodus. Of course, The Daily Show makes light of any serious topic and they had their fun at the expense of the CE guys. They even had Cory Burnell on the phone and since they had no video feed of him, they asked if they could put up a picture of him on screen. He agreed. So Ed Helms asked if they could add a moustache to his picture. Cory allowed it (it was a big Mexican moustache). Then Cory was expounding on the purpose of CE and again Ed Helms interrupted - this time, to ask if they could add flashy suspenders to Cory's picture. Cory said "Oh, of course."

It was all in good fun. But I know that at the heart of every joke, there's a little truth. So many liberal minded people find it amusing that a number of US citizens would plan on moving to a place where they could finally determine their own destiny and try to have a morally decent political environment - particularly because the current political atmosphere they're living in is against their beliefs and they find it near intolerable. Is it that far fetched? Didn't scores of liberals threaten to do just that if Bush was re-elected? They wanted to have their own "CE" (Canadian Exodus).

I wish Cory Burnell and all of the Christian Exodus number the best of luck and God's speed. I hope they find what they're looking for and if I get a chance to move away from Arkansas, I might just join them in S.C.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Ross Update

2005-09-14T14:45:00.000-05:00

Another email from my uncle.

"Just letting you know that Ross received a clean bill of health today and the doctor will see him in six months. Ross will remain on the medication for an undetermined amount of time. The doctor mentioned that he had been to a "workshop" concerning this problem and there are some new techniques and medications that are being developed that might be in use in the next 2-3 years. We are thankful to God for Ross' progress. Thank you for your prayers and concern."

Indeed.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Oh I hope a PETA member reads this...

2005-09-12T20:18:00.000-05:00

Attention, Internet surfers...

...Whale Curry...

...That is all.

Agent Sillyboots out.

You're not allowed to lie in your diary!

2005-09-05T20:54:00.000-05:00

Another online comic that I'm officially a fan of.

But here's the one that got my attention tonite.

Funny stuff.

Agent Sillyboots out.

In a Related Story...(aka "Kanye Can Suck It")

2005-09-02T23:37:00.000-05:00

Wow...another pissed off black guy. Will wonders cease.

And, of course, Mr West placed his anger and frustration about the devastation, looting, rioting, raping, "friendly fire", and death in the only place it would make sense to put it...George W. Bush (a white man). Of course! Why didn't Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Malcolm X, Mumia Abu Jamal, Louis Farrakhan, the Black Caucus, the NAACP, Rubin Carter, the Black Panthers, Johnny Cochran, Amiri Baraka, Wallace Fard, Tawana Brawley, Ron Karenga, and white liberals think of blaming a white person? Why didn't any of them think of blaming any and all problems of black people (whether it be dealing with finances, culture, self-image, or self-destruction) on a white person? It seems so simple now that I've mentioned it, doesn't it?

Let me tell you a little story. My brother was in the area that was hit by the hurricane in Louisiana. He is currently in Atlanta, Ga. where his company is helping him rebuild his life. He has no access to his bank account or his house at the moment and the only help he's gotten has been from his family and friends. Here's the odd thing: he's white! Derp! The government can't immediately rush in and help everyone in sight and they sure as hell don't care what race you are.

We're talking about the same government that awards black people money in lawsuits when a business refuses to give them a promotion because (God forbid) their skills are found lacking. We're talking about the same government that forces white people to forget about our history and take it upon ourselves to be the heralds of Black History. We're talking about the same government that is still forcing us to consume affirmative action long after the expiration date. We're talking about the same government that gives special grants to minorities based solely on the color of their skin. We're talking about the same government that has all but extinguished the Southern Culture in favor of a "PC and Yankee-friendly" version of the Civil War that claims that they consciously chose to "free the slaves."

Face it, black people. The government loves you. It has to for fear of a lawsuit.

Says Kanye West:

"They've given them permission to go down and shoot us."

No sir. They've been given orders to stop the looting, killing, and self-destruction at the many heavy-hit areas. If you don't shoot at the rescue choppers, then you won't get shot. If you don't try to cause any more lawlessness than is already present, then you won't get shot. I'm not exactly sure who "us" is, unless Mr West plans on looting in the French Quarter.

Says Kanye West:

"George Bush doesn't care about black people" and said America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible."

No sir. America is not set up that way. However, it does take a bit of time to turn the wheels of our bureacratic government. I'm sorry if "the blue eyed devil" doesn't really feel like specifically hunting out black people in danger to put on rescue choppers first while assuring the (just-as-much-in-danger) white population that they'll "be right back" as soon as they finish wiping their conscience clean of the attrocities of slavery. Besides, it's been taking quite a while to find enough mules to give to all of the black populace of New Orleans and you might as well forget about those 40 acres. They're all underwater now.

And I wish black celebrities would quit acting like all of the poor of the US are black. That is simply not the case.

If the government specifically went out to help the black population first in this disaster, then we would be faced with a devilishly racist government. On the contrary, our government is trying to save as many US citizens as possible as quickly as possible, with no regards to race. It seems that some blacks (not all) are so pissed off at the government for not being racist simply because they themselves are.

A disaster spanning 3 states and thousands of lives is by no means a podium for your racist and unfounded remarks, Mr West.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Jesse's got no shame.

2005-09-02T22:40:00.000-05:00

I'm surprised he didn't make these kind of remarks when 9/11 happened.

"Jackson questioned why Bush has not named blacks to top positions in the federal response to the disaster, particularly when the majority of victims remaining stranded in New Orleans are black."

Because, Jesse, race is not an issue. It's US citizens that were hit by Katrina, so it's US citizens who are put in charge of responding to the disaster. It doesn't matter that "the majority of victims...are black." It just doesn't. It really doesn't. Bush is not going to scramble census experts to find out exactly how many of each race were affected by Katrina, then scramble to find a person of the largest race represented and just hope that they're qualified to head up the "federal response." And you're unrealistic and shallow to think that race -- of all things -- was at the top of the President's list of priorities.

That "man" can make a "racism" case out of a can of Pringles.

"Why aint that man on the can black? Why's he gots ta be all white? Why's Pringles gots ta come in tennis ball containuhs? We's all know whites play tennis."

"Civil rights leader"? Geez.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Bono's new dimension

2005-08-29T21:17:00.000-05:00

I never really got into U2. It's not that I didn't like their music...it's just that I never listened to them. Also, I get a little upset when I see/hear preachy musicians go off all the time about their politics and act like they've been elected to speak for the people.

However, I was checking a few key blogs tonite and came across an interview with Bono on Fr. John Whiteford's blog.

One thing I'm not a fan of is "flashpan teenie bopper 'Christian' lites." You know the kind. They're into Jesus because their friends are into Jesus. They have a crush on their "youth minister" (my youth ministers were always middle-age working men with a wife and 4 kids and none of the girls found them attractive). They want you to pray with them at the opening of an envelope. They own 18 WOW Praise and Worship CD's and you can't tell any of them apart, but it's ok because neither can they. Oh yeah, I almost forgot: in 4 months, they won't be attending church anymore.

Bono doesn't seem to have that shallow mentality. Trust me, I've seen plenty of adults with that type of attitude and fickleness. I was taken aback a little bit by some of his thoughts and responses to the questions he was asked. Here's a few questions and responses (the parts in bold are the thoughts that I think are extraordinary):

Assayas (the interviewer): What about the God of the Old Testament? He wasn't so "peace and love"?

Bono: There's nothing hippie about my picture of Christ. The Gospels paint a picture of a very demanding, sometimes divisive love, but love it is. I accept the Old Testament as more of an action movie: blood, car chases, evacuations, a lot of special effects, seas dividing, mass murder, adultery. The children of God are running amok, wayward. Maybe that's why they're so relatable. But the way we would see it, those of us who are trying to figure out our Christian conundrum, is that the God of the Old Testament is like the journey from stern father to friend. When you're a child, you need clear directions and some strict rules. But with Christ, we have access in a one-to-one relationship, for, as in the Old Testament, it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The New Testament, on the other hand, we look across at a Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal. The combination is what makes the Cross.

Assayas: Speaking of bloody action movies, we were talking about South and Central America last time. The Jesuit priests arrived there with the gospel in one hand and a rifle in the other.

Bono: I know, I know. Religion can be the enemy of God. It's often what happens when God, like Elvis, has left the building. [laughs] A list of instructions where there was once conviction; dogma where once people just did it; a congregation led by a man where once they were led by the Holy Spirit. Discipline replacing discipleship. Why are you chuckling?

Assayas: I think I am beginning to understand religion because I have started acting and thinking like a father. What do you make of that?

Bono: Yes, I think that's normal. It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.

Assayas: I haven't heard you talk about that.

Bono: I really believe we've moved out of the realm of Karma into one of Grace.

Assayas: Well, that doesn't make it clearer for me.

Bono: [this entire paragraph should be bolded. ASb] You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics—in physical laws—every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Assayas: That's a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it's close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world's great thinkers. But Son of God, isn't that farfetched?

Bono: No, it's not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet. I'm saying: "I'm the Messiah." I'm saying: "I am God incarnate." And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You're a bit eccentric. We've had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don't mention the "M" word! Because, you know, we're gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you're expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he's gonna keep saying this. So what you're left with is: either Christ was who He said He was—the Messiah—or a complete nutcase. I mean, we're talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we've been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had "King of the Jews" on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I'm not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that's farfetched …

I loved reading that interview and I think it's an actual book (Fr. John links to it on his post). The thing is that in that last response, Bono was quoting CS Lewis in his "Lord, Liar, Lunatic" argument. Also, in his assertion that Jesus Christ did not leave the option of "good moral teacher" open for discussion. He is not a "good moral teacher." He is Christ and He is God Incarnate. To believe that the entire world was changed by one lunatic is far-fetched and a stretch of faith in and of itself.

Good stuff.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Those in the Storm's Path

2005-08-29T20:44:00.000-05:00

Devastation.

I've got family in New Orleans and I've been fearing for them as Hurricane Katrina came closer. My phone has been shut off since last nite (Sunday Aug. 28) and so I haven't been able to call my brother (who has a wife and a daughter who live with him in New Orleans).

I know the damage wasn't limited to New Orleans, or even Louisiana as a whole, but my brother's there and other people kinda take a back seat for now.

Thank God that it wasn't as bad as predicted. Please pray for those having to deal with the damage.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Christianity: Now with Less Gender!

2005-08-26T20:48:00.000-05:00

This is unnecessary.

This is just sinful.

As to the first link, let me say this. God has no gender. However, he is known as The Father and The Son for very specific reasons.

He is known as The Father to show his authority over as well as his love for his children (us). Also, that title shows His "firstness", if you will. Conception of a life begins with the male (father). Existence began with God (Father). And another point: The Virgin Mary was "impregnated" by God. That imagery doesn't even begin to make sense if God is a woman.

He is known as The Son because, well, Jesus was a man. I don't know how clearer that can get. Also, the firstborn son of a family received the better inheritance. Jesus is the First"born" (actually, the first "begotten" and only "begotten") of God and the Firstborn of the Resurrection (Romans 8:29, 1 Cor. 15:20, Col. 1:18). However, the "gift" He received (the resurrected life) He is willing to equally share with all who will have Him. It's not "mysogynism" or "sexism", it's "symbolism" and those symbols tell many things about Christian theology. To tamper with those symbols and to think one's self good enough to throw them around like footballs is to invite all sorts of mistaken theology and prideful self-indulgence.

As for the second link, just let me say this. It's one thing to make hymns gender-neutral like the first link did. It's something different altogether to blatantly assert that Jesus was a woman named Judith and that God is a woman. It's very hard to reconcile "Judith" being the "Second Adam" of Romans 5. Jesus came to earth with the duty of correcting Adam's mistake. "Through one man, sin entered the world, and through one man many will be made righteous." Again, to play around with the name of our Lord and to take it upon one's self to fabricate a new and improved Savior simply "in response to empowerment of women in society" is completely useless and sinful. If you want to respond "to empowerment of women in society" then point out all of the powerful women of the Bible. You get to prove a point biblically and you don't sound like a bra-burning Gloria Steinem FemiNazi. Kudos! Take your pick. You have Deborah, the Virgin Mary, Ruth, the woman at the well (later traditions tell us that the apostles gave her the name Photini and after her encounter with Christ she went back home and converted her family and friends), Miriam (Moses' brother), Esther, Sarah, Lydia, and Rahab. Not to mention all of the women that Paul mentioned in his letters. Start a "ladies' nite" at your church and begin venerating the real women that the real God let us know about. Quit trying to invent new ways to crap on Christianity.

Agent Sillyboots out.

I'm Athanasius

2005-08-26T12:52:00.000-05:00

For all of you Orthodox, Roman Catholic, or any other churches who acknowledge the communion with the saints...

You are Athanasius! You are willing to fight a
losing battle, just to make sure that the truth
is told. But don't get discouraged; sometimes
it takes more than one lifetime for truth to
triumph.

Which Saint Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Got that from Fr. Joseph at OrthoDixie.

Your Drive-by Truckers Horoscope

2005-08-22T11:40:00.000-05:00

I don't believe in horoscopes, so this is just for fun. You can learn a lot from lyrics that apply to your daily life. I'm here to help you make the connection.

"Don't give me no pity, don't give me no grief. Wait till I die for sympathy. Just help me with this amp and a guitar or two. I can't die now cuz I got another show to do. Don't give me no preachin' no self servin'. I ain't no angel but nobody's deserving. I can dance on my own grave, Thank You!" -- The Living Bubba from the album Gangstabilly.

Application: This life is all we're promised, and we're not even promised tomorrow. All the pity and sympathy can wait until we're dead. We've got to take advantage of this "vapor" of a life while we have it. The business we need to take care of, whether it's entertaining a crowd as a career or building communities as a career or just digging ditches as a career, deserves our attention while we have the facilities to take care of it. We all have a purpose in life. Some of us choose to accept our purpose while some neglect it. Don't feel the need to continually damper someone else's mission in life with "preachin'" and "self-servin'" because chances are, you're not helping them and you're only making yourself feel better. After all, no one's perfect.

The last line of the lyric rings true: "I can dance on my own grave, Thank You!". Throughout life, one's toughest critic is one's self. Don't feel the need to beat on someone for their mistakes because they've probably beaten themself up enough for the two of you.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Find the halflings!

2005-08-20T22:43:00.000-05:00

I tell ya what, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring is not too bad when you've had a bit to drink.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Ann Coulter, everybody.

2005-08-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

Check it.

"We're sorry about Ms. Sheehan's son, but the entire nation was attacked on 9-11. This isn't about her personal loss. America has been under relentless attack from Islamic terrorists for 20 years, culminating in a devastating attack on U.S. soil on 9-11. It's not going to stop unless we fight back, annihilate Muslim fanatics, destroy their bases, eliminate their sponsors and end all their hope. A lot more mothers will be grieving if our military policy is: No one gets hurt!"

I hate that this war is still going on. I hate what it's doing to our country (what we're doing to ourselves?). I hate that people keep focusing on the alleged WMD's that inspectors did not find at that specific time. Ms Coulter's right. This is still going on mainly (I hope) because fanatical Islamic terrorists from the Middle East (and migrating westward) are destroying lives without remorse and the U.S. is the only powerhouse country that has stood up and said "Enough." I think Mr Bush continued this war the wrong way (it's been going on for 15 years), but I think it needed to continue and we needed to go over there and shut Hussein down. That being said, once Iraq is over and done and we leave, let's get out of there and let's just be "The United States" for a while. No spying on other people's houses. No dumping in other country's yards. No throwing an anonymous rock to get a fight started. Let's just be our own country for a while. See how that works. Would it work?

I truly think that if we didn't have the liberals sitting under our military constantly castrating them and if our media would start telling the stories of bravery and victory we've had over there, then maybe we could get this stupid horseshit over with and everyone could come home.

Who needs enemies when you've got friends like the media.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Four Brothers

2005-08-19T23:59:00.000-05:00

Saw Four Brothers tonite. Good movie. Not too long and told a good story. Anytime Mark Wahlberg gets the last punch in on a guy, a good time is had by all. Get out and see it if you can.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Ross Update

2005-08-06T16:24:00.000-05:00

I'll just let my uncle tell the news via an email I received from him.

"Thank you again for your prayers and concern for our family and especially Ross. After 4 1/2 hours of surgery "mapping" Ross' heart, the doctor (an electro-physiologist) came out of surgery and explained that he could NOT continue with the procedure of ablation as he was hoping he could. The diaphragmatic nerve located in or near the heart was located right near the electrical place in Ross' heart that was causing the rapid heart rate. The doctor provided us a color 2-dimensional computer photo of Ross' heart and showed us exactly where the nerve and electrical problem were. The doctor was not willing to take a chance on damaging the nerve. If the nerve were to be damaged, it could paralyze Ross' left diaphragm. We are thankful for the doctor's wisdom.

While in surgery though, they gave an IV medicine that dropped Ross' heart beat to a normal beat. So, the doctor has placed Ross on a pill a day to see if this will help correct the rapid resting heart rate. He has had two dosages of the pill medicine. At this time though, we have not seen a drop in his heart rate. I checked his heart rate this morning when he got up and it was still at 116. Since this has been going on, I've never seen his heart rate lower than 100. Even knocked out in surgery, the beat was 120...prior to the IV of medicine.

So, Ross will wear the heart monitor on Sunday and Monday and will go back to the children's hospital on August 24 for a check-up. No football until after the check-up. But, everything else about his life can go back to normal.

If in the future this is not corrected by medicine, they could go in and try the procedure again. The doctor said that he has already "mapped" his heart completely and knows exactly where the problem is located. It could be that we are buying a little time to allow medicine and technology to catch up with this problem, according to one doctor.

We are at home now, only staying in the hospital for about 14 hours. Ross is sore, but doing fine.

We are prayerful now concerning the medicine that it will do what it is suppose to do. Again, thank you for your concern and especially your prayers."

Fellas, keep praying.

Agent Sillyboots out.

It Finally Happened

2005-08-06T11:45:00.000-05:00

Well, the time has come. The one foretold in prophecies.

Music has gotten so bland, simple, uninteresting, and mirrored that we now have a song out by Sheryl Crow called "Good is Good."

I mean...we have a veteran recording artist now having to tell us that "Good is Good." What next? A Hootie and the Blowfish song called "Stop Signs are Red"? Criminy.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Don't fix what aint broke.

2005-08-05T20:21:00.000-05:00

I was watching CNN or FoxNews or GenericNews, whatever it was. They had some video clips playing in the background right before the commercial break. They were all of people in New York getting their bags searched on a "random bag search." One of them was this blonde guy with earrings, the other was this older business man, and the last one was this mid-20's woman wearing a miniskirt, a spaghetti-strap shirt, and a confused look. It made me think.

Businessman, eh? I know your business. Your business is TERROR!

I used to consider the possibility of terrorists convincing normal US citizens to help them in bringing down "The Machine." If that were the situation, then the case for "random" bag searches would be increasingly strengthened. I mean, after all, didn't John Walker Lindh sympathize with the Taliban? (Even though, if you think about it, it would be pretty easy to pick Lindh out of a group of people and tell the security guards "Yeah, let's check this guy a little bit more thorough.")

Why do I want you to take off your shoes? Because you're our 100th customer. DO IT!

The problem with that line of thinking, though, is that there hasn't been any attacks done like that. We look at the suicide bombings, 9/11, beheadings, kidnappings, assassinations...they all have a common denominator: Arabic people. The US's policy of "no racial profiling" is meant to be a step ahead of the terrorists. They think they can stop the activities I talked about above before they even happen. As long as the US keeps trying to stay ahead of the terrorists, the terrorists don't even have to change. Their plan of sending more and more Arabs into our country to slowly chip away at us is working just fine. Why would they ever just, out of the blue, start using "normal looking US citizens"? We (the US) refuse to stand up to them as it is. Why would they feel the need to try so hard to get citizens to take up the terrorist agenda? It's not worth it to them since their current plan is working so well. And they know it will keep working as long as the US government tries to pussyfoot around the subject of stopping terrorism. If they know that we will go out of our way not to offend a shifty-eyed Arab, travelling alone, carrying only a backpack, carrying next to no money...then they'll keep sending them in.

Ma'am, no time to explain. I'm a cop from the future and I have to frisk your daughter. But rest assured, this is totally random.

Why would they try to fix what aint broke? Tried and true. The US gets just that much closer to ~~self-destruction~~ "Enlightenment." Aren't we so "progressive"?

Such a lovely day...three...Hello, sir...Four...Lovely day...Five MA'AM!! I HAVE TO SEARCH THAT BAG!! THIS IS VERY RANDOM!

I just don't think that "random bag searches" are going to work. They're just going to piss off innocent citizens and give the terrorists a pretty good chance at getting through a line unchallenged. It's crazy.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Is ignorance "kosher"?

2005-08-05T15:47:00.000-05:00

It seems that a few people were a bit upset about Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's assertions about the "Civil War." I am one of those people. Anybody who looks up to the men who defended their homeland against the Yankee invaders should be upset by the Rabbi's comments. I'll give a short list of the people I read who commented on the "Boteach Blunder." I will also let their more informed words be my own.

WilsonFu: Yeah... Right.

Arklahomboy: Rabbi Boteach Chokes on the Blue Pill.

Southern Knight: An Open Letter to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

The Old Dominion: Coming out Party of Confederate Hatred.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Maybe I don't get the symbolism...

2005-08-04T17:40:00.000-05:00

I don't live in Wisconsin and I don't know how harmful a statue of Big Bird can be...but apparently in a small Wisconsin town, it can be very damaging indeed. First they wanted to hunt cats for sport (which would be fine with me) and now they're wanting to get rid of a guy's Big Bird statue on his own house.

I bet Hitler had a statue of Big Bird on his chimney, too.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Ross needs you again.

2005-08-04T11:19:00.000-05:00

I mentioned once that my cousin Ross was having heart problems. Several doctors have said several different things about his condition and whether or not it's going to be a problem. But he is going in for surgery this week, perhaps even today (Thur. Aug. 4, 2005). I'm not sure what all it will entail, but of course any surgery dealing with the heart can be a touch and go operation and this one will definately not be an exception.

If you guys will, please send up another prayer for Ross. Thanks.

Agent Sillyboots out.

The....Family Channel?

2005-08-03T19:41:00.000-05:00

I'm flipping around the TV tonite when I happen across none other than Cruel Intentions. I've never seen it, but the previews that came out about it just about did the job *wink wink*. So I've always kinda known what it was about.

Which is why it was somewhat odd to look at the lower right hand corner of the screen and see that Cruel Intentions was playing on ABC Family.

A...B...C...Family...

I hope their execs sleep well tonite content that they actually edited out the kissing scene between Sarah Michelle Gellar and that dark haired chick. I mean...because that would be over the top.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Whetsels Army-dot-TK

2005-08-03T14:28:00.000-05:00

So I play Halo 2. I play Halo 2 on Xbox Live. I play Halo 2 on Xbox Live in the Matchmaking section. I get spanked nearly every match now. But it's fun.

Sure, some off-color words fly and glass coffee tables get busted, but I enjoy it. It's fun unless I get stuck playing with (or even against) some punk little kids who want nothing more than to team kill, commit suicide, or hide the flag until everyone decides to just quit. I hate that crap.

My roommate (xxJohnnyWaddxx) and Mikey (Sh0rtBusKid) got a clan together and of course I joined it. We're called Whetsel's Army. We play mostly for fun and we have a clan nite where we all get together for some custom games and, if we're feeling ballsy, we'll go on to some Big Team Battle or even a Major Clanmatch. Those times are safe, legal, and rare. Why does that sound familiar?

Anywho, go to our website and look around. If you're interested in being a part of it, we're always taking new members. We can have up to 100, you know. Plus, we like to throw Halo tournaments and we like to attend them, too. If you're around the Fort Smith, Arkansas region or even in Eastern Oklahoma, drop us a line and we'll see about coming to your Halo2 tourney or, if things go really well, we can collaborate and throw a huge Halo2 tournament.

My Halo2 handle is Sillyboots. Take me on and find out exactly how easy it is to beat a secret agent.

Agent Sillyboots

Supersize me..with whiskey!!

2005-07-31T15:03:00.000-05:00

Found this gem via GorillaMask.

I did the house-sitter thing one time for a friend and found myself drinking for an entire 3-day weekend (the most I'll ever drink in my life), but this is just out there.

Agent Sillyboots out.

I Demand a Refund

2005-07-20T14:39:00.000-05:00

Ya know, I pay a monthly fee for the cable service that I have here at my apartment in Fort Smith, AR. On my days off, I have every opportunity to turn to ABC and watch General Hospital or to NBC and watch Days of our Lives. But, I don't. The reason is because I don't enjoy soap operas. I think they're cheesy and a waste of good production dollars. That money could be used to fund a Lobo movie.

Anywho, getting back to my distaste for soap operas. They're bad enough when they're confined to a TV station. They get even worse when they seep over into the workplace. I hate it when people bring drama to work and expect it to affect everyone else the same way it has affected them. That being said, I believe just about the worst case of soap opera is when it manifests itself on the public stage at the taxpayers' expense.

Enter the Rove/Plame/Wilson/Cooper/Cheney/Novak soap opera. It's ridiculous. "Oooh, I heard that Karl Rove mentioned Valerie Plame's name on the telephone one time with a reporter." "Wait a minute, then why does Rove's lawyer say he never used her name?" "Well, you know it was Robert Novak that first used her real name." "Isn't she married to a guy named Joseph Wilson? Why is her last name Plame?" "I heard Dick Cheney sent Wilson overseas at the request of Plame." Oooh, I heard that Karl Rove was sleeping with Wilson's daughter while he was overseas." "That's nothing. I heard Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter is a lesbian."

Ok, who let John Kerry in here.

But seriously, folks, this is a long, complicated, twisty soap opera that isn't very amusing. It has wasted very valuable time and has proven once again that our "civil servants" are interested in nothing but political pissing contests and one-up-manship. Without any formal conviction of Rove, the left is already calling for his resignation. They did the same to Tom DeLay. Anyone who does this kind of crap is stark raving mad, no matter what side of the aisle they sit on.

The sad thing is...we're paying for this soap opera to continue. If this is where my money goes to on April 15th (at precisely 11:59, by design), then I demand a refund.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Eigtheen Year-Old Anarchists

2005-07-15T21:40:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure how I found this site, but the strips on it are pretty funny, although they seem a bit hit and miss (well, who's humor is truly universal anyway?).

But the artists does have good points now and then. Like this one.

Yeah, let's see them eighteen year-old anarchists come back and just see if they don't get a job.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Diet Mountain Dew sucks

2005-07-10T00:11:00.000-05:00

It's like regular Mt. Dew...except it's terrible.

No punchline there. It's just like they canned decarbonated Mt. Dew. And it sucks.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Matrix Pong

2005-07-07T21:10:00.000-05:00

This is pretty cool. There are some really talented groups of people out there.

For another example, mash here.

Agent Sillyboots out.

It was almost done on the Sabbath.

2005-07-05T20:21:00.000-05:00

Of course I don't know all the details, but a story about a man saving another man's life and then being arrested for it seems odd. It's not like the lifesaver was the object of a sting operation and just happened to save a man's life but still be arrested. From the article, it seems that he was just a passer-by and went out of his way to save another human being. The article says the police officers claimed the lifesaver "smirked and seemed annoyed by officers' requests." Those requests, by the way, were for the lifesaver to come back to the shore. I'd be a little agitated, too, if I kept having the fuzz tell me to not save someone's life. Besides, it's not like "smirking" and "seeming annoyed" are against the law. Well, I take that back. I do remember hearing about the "Smirking and Seeming Annoyed Compliance Act of 2059" passed by Senators Jacko Looneybin and Wilhelm Crazypants.

It brings to mind a scripture: "He said to them, 'Is it lawful on the Sabbath day to do good, or to do harm? To save a life, or to kill?'" - Mark 3:4.

Again, I don't know the particulars about this case, but it still sends up some red flags to me.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Typical Advertisement

2005-07-04T23:16:00.000-05:00

Don't you just love fine print? ASB (I made this up, so don't go trying to find it online.)

I'm here to tell you about new Snappers© from BlackCat™!!!

They cure cancer!

These safe, little fireworks are ideal for keeping the children quiet while the adults and older younger older kids are lighting up the real reason for the 4th of July: exploding rockets. Red glare, what?!

You can throw these packets down and they let off a small explosion! You can even put them between your thumb and middle finger and snap as usual and they harmlessly spark between your fingers! Fellas, now you can prove to your lady that you've got magic fingers!

Also, one box of Snappers© from BlackCat™ can feed 3 small children (or 32 large hamsters) for approximately 7 weeks. They can also clear up acne, solve math problems, fly planes if the pilots suddenly come down with Stockholm Syndrome, and brainwash lesbians.

Snappers© from BlackCat™. They rule hard.

The makers of Snappers© from BlackCat™ are not responsible for anything that has been said in this post so far. Keep away from Snappers© from BlackCat™ because they can cause severe burns and any warranty you may have on your riding lawn mower will be void if the manufacturer finds out you were playing with Snappers© from BlackCat™. As with any other harmless novelty, extreme caution must be taken to avoid any contact whatsoever with any substance that Snappers© from BlackCat™ or the bag that they came in or the box the bag came in has touched. Never expose Snappers© from BlackCat™ to direct sunlight, direct darkness, indirect light, subtle darkness, looming silence, eery subtle darkness, eery indirect subtle daylight, or Eerie, Indiana. Playing with Snappers© from BlackCat™ will give you Stockholm Syndrome. If your parents or legal guardians ever find you playing with Snappers© from BlackCat™, run like crazy around the house, refusing to be captured. After all, don't you deserve better? Never ever let your younger siblings play with Snappers© from BlackCat™. They will only mess them up. Remember that Snappers© from BlackCat™ have no real fuse and they go off if you breathe heavily on the box. Keep all flammable objects away from Snappers© from BlackCat™ and in no circumstances may you ever tell any police officer that you ever played with Snappers© from BlackCat™ in the street. Police officers are your sworn enemy and they will stop at nothing until they personally see to it that you are digging for rice in the coal mines of Afghanistan. Don't give them the satisfaction! Also, never bleach Snappers© from BlackCat™ when you put the whole box into the washing machine, which you should always do after you leave the store where you purchased Snappers© from BlackCat™. Wash with like colors and tumble dry. Here is a list of substances to keep away from Snappers© from BlackCat™: hair, pollen, plastics, cardboard, meth, wishful thinking, gum, Yellow 5, battery acid, Post-It™ notes, shoe horns, optimism, glee, and any Sam's Choice™ knock-off of any soft drinks. Mixing these products will instantaneously cause loss of smell, shrinking of the genitals, low self-esteem, and infertility. In girls, it takes the sperm count straight to zero. I should buy a boat! In no way will Snappers© from BlackCat™ ever make for an enjoyable 4th of July. All your friends will hate you and write dirty things about you in your yearbook. For instance, there will always be the guy who will write "I'm the first one to sign your crack!" and he'll think it's funny because he wrote it in the crevice between two of the pages in the back. It won't be funny and you'll die a little inside everytime you pick up the book to read while you're on the toilet. Send in 17 proofs of purchase to receive...IN THE MAIL...a signed letter that confirms that you bought 17 packages of Snappers© from BlackCat™. Show it to your friends! If you have any left, that is. Void where prohibited. It's prohibited in AK, AL, AR, AZ, CA, CO, CT, DE, FL, GA, HI, IA, ID, IL, IN, KS, KY, LA, MA, MD, ME, MI, MN, MO, MS, MT, NC, ND, NE, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OH, OK, OR, SD, TN, TX, UT, VT, VA, WA, WI, WV, and WY. Well, pretty much everywhere that murder is prohibited. Only one confirmation letter per state. If vomitting occurs, induce vomiting and then take a picture of it. Extra points if you vomit on a cat. Only digital pictures will be accepted. This is the end of the fine print. Agent Sillyboots out.

Greatest Show on Earth...?

2005-07-04T18:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that's what Chris Martin said about Live8. Let's see a few quotes from some people involved in Live8.

"This is the greatest rock show in the history of the world." - Announcer at the beginning of the London concert.

"...the single most important concert ever." - An XM Radio DJ.

"[This is] the greatest thing that's ever been organized in the history of the world." - Chris Martin of Coldplay.

Kind of reminds me of Peter Griffin.

"Wait a minute...that's the smartest thing I've ever heard anyone say about anything."

Tone it down, Chris. It was just a concert.

Plus, I heard it sucked anyway.

Agent Sillyboots out.

cruise pwned!1

2005-07-01T23:55:00.000-05:00

Once again, I give you GorillaMask.

You're a jerk.

Agent Sillyboots out. You're a jerk.

Tell-Tale Signs

2005-07-01T22:41:00.000-05:00

I was watching FoxNews tonite and saw an interview with Karen Pearl of Planned Parenthood. She was asked by the interviewer if the Founding Fathers would write up and ratify the Constitution if they were told that people would interpret it to mean that abortion was a protected right of women. Ms Pearl said (this is a paraphrase) "I'm not sure, but I am glad that the beautiful thing about our Constitution is that there are plenty of judicial safeties in place and enough history in our country that women's rights are protected."

...

Notice first off where Ms Pearl shrank back to. The Supreme Court. "...plenty of judicial safeties in place." It is a tell-tale sign of where someone puts their trust when it comes to confrontation when they name off the first place of authority for them. In America, that "first place" should be the United States Constitution. In Protestantism, the "first place" is the Holy Bible. With liberals and utopians, that first place is the Supreme Court. I've thought this for a long time, but I'll finally say it. There is coming a day very very soon where the saying will go from "Is this unlawful?" to "Does this have a court precedent?". And that is so sad. We have gone from a country of law and order to a country of lawsuits and judicial disorder. Abortion is by no means a "right." Owning what you have worked for is a right. Life is a right. Liberty is a right. To put abortion in the mix with freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to bear arms and freedom of the press not only degrades the Bill of Rights, but elevates murder and embraces those who would, as ArklahomBoy showcased, rather see their children dead than to have to live with whatever vague burden the human child might possibly perhaps someday by chance maybe could be possibly perhaps maybe impose on the "parent."

I don't care what abortion activists say. I still think that if the state can punish people for not wearing a seat belt - siting a desire to "save lives" and protect stupid people from their own bad driving habits or the bad driving habits of other stupid people - then I think they could do a little bit more to save women from themselves before they have time to permenantly damage the rest of their natural lives with feelings of guilt, possible inability to have children, and a host of other side effects due to abortion.

Not to mention saving the lives of human children. Bald eagle eggs get more protection than our own children. How sad.

Agent Sillyboots out.

HK Edgerton: Army of One

2005-06-28T17:35:00.000-05:00

Rebel With A Cause.

Mr Edgerton has been rallying for an understanding of the Confederates' mission for a long time now. I think he should be heard. He wants people to understand that the several states that seceded were not out to increase the lifetime of slavery or to commit treason against the United States. They were trying to secure states' rights and peacefully dissolve the union between themselves and the United States government. When the federal government decided they wanted the states to stay in the Union for their own personal gain, they waged war on the South.

If anyone should be given audience in this matter, surely HK Edgerton deserves a voice.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Does our country suck? (part 3)

2005-06-27T03:56:00.000-05:00

Part 1.
Part 2.

Here's the thing about it is. Mikey makes fun of me at work all the time because he likes to think of me as a "Southern pride, racist, white-power Confederate" and anytime I write aaaaanything about the South (even though I usually only make points about "states' rights" like I did in Part 1) he uses it as one more example of my "the south will rise again" attitude. Little does he know that I'm particularly upset that the foundation for our country was so easily eroded mysteriously around the same time as the end of the War for Southern Independence (yes, I would rather it be called that since the South was never fighting for control of the federal government).

I do believe that ever since the federal government got a taste of overwhelmingly unconstitutional power over the State, it just couldn't help itself. The builders of our great nation knew that the nature of centralized government was to drift towards complete federal control. That's why they tried to spread it out plenty enough internally by creating the three branches of government. At least if one branch got out of control (if?), the other two could snap it back into place. However, they also knew that the only reason this "federal government" existed was because the States had created it. How, the Fathers would ask, could the created entity just assume powers that it was not given by the creating States? That's why our Constitution says that any power not directly given to the federal government is reserved "for the States or the people."

The Founding Fathers were very smart men. They knew that if the balance of government was shaken, then the country would eventually fall apart. They had seen it time and time again throughout history. That's why they had so many safety devices implanted into our laws. For one, the checks and balances of the government branches I've already mentioned. Also, many of the States put addendums to their constitutions before they would ratify the US Constitution. The addendums stated that their respective state had the right to abandon the Union if the State saw fit to. It was considered a State's natural right to dissolve a union that it saw as being unsatisfactorily handled. If the federal government (which was created by the States) abused their powers and crossed the line, the States had every right to dissolve their union. It was built right into our nation.

Another safety device was the Electoral College. This was/is just genius. The Electoral College ensured (as much as humanly possible) that each elected President represented a higher percentage of Americans than the other potential candidates. If the President was chosen simply by "popular" vote, then candidates would only need to campaign in the densely populated coastal areas and leave the rural in-landers alone without so much as wondering what their concerns are. The Electoral College ensures that our President comes closest to meeting the expectations of the widest spectrum of citizens in America.

Then you have all the voting rules in the Senate; all the protocol for Congressional sessions; all the limitations on public officials; all the ways that the federal government is not supposed to inject itself directly into the lives of every citizen of the very soverign States. All of these limitations and rules and balances exist for one reason: to limit the federal government. That's why the Constitution was written. It wasn't penned to limit the States. It was written to tell the federal government who their daddy is.

[Quick side note: When people talk about the "unconstitutional seperation of church and state", then you can tell them to read a history book. They can quote the Establishment Clause til their gums bleed, but one fact remains: the Establishment Clause says nothing about what States can and cannot do. The Establishment Clause (once again) limits Congress (an arm of the federal government) from making laws that would establish one national religion or prohibiting the free exercise of a religion. Since a State making a law establishing a religion is in no way Congress making a law establishing religion, this argument is pointless. I do agree that Congress has no power given to it by the States to establish a religion and the federal government should keep its hands out of religious issues. However, the States are free to do as they see fit, and shortly after completely ratifying the Constitution, many States did attempt a state religion. That was their right. If you did not want to live in a state with an official religion, then you could feel free to move. However, "Congress" is in no way a "State" and "the United States" is in no way a "State" as our Constitution understands "States." Therefore, the Establishment Clause in no way even attempts to address the issue of state religions.]

So why does my good friend Mikey think I'm a "Southern pride Confederate white-power racist"? Because I believe these checks and balances have slowly lost their desired effect in this country. Instead of a small federal governing body whose purpose is to protect its citizens, promote peace and tranquility, and defend the Constitution, we have a massive, slothful, irresponsible, nosey big brother who, when confronted with a problem, only sees two options: throw money at it or get someone to help you hide the body. How many bureacracies does it take to run this country? Take that number and multiply it by any 3 digit number. That's how many extra operations our government decided (against our will, to boot) to add to the never-ending red tape of The United States. Need to find out how it's possible for bees to fly even though, aerodynamically, it should be impossible? Let's create a Department of Apian Flight Theory and pay each employee $100k a year to sit around until one of them figures it out. That's really pertinent to our country's peace and tranquility! No really, it is...somehow.

Our country simply cannot wait to throw money at something. We wonder why in the world our debt overlaps so much from year to year at the same time some government official is writing a check for $8,000 to put drapes over the breast of Spirit of Justice in the Justice Department's Great Hall. The example of the "Million Dollar Outhouse" is a State-issued blunder (Colorado, to be exact), but rest assured that pet projects like this are being signed off on every week by the federal government, and we do pay the bill. While we're at it, why don't we have taxpayers foot the bill for local professional sports teams to have a new stadium to play in. Sounds like fun! How about all the extra extra perks that government officials receive? Since when did "civil servants" get to live a life of luxury while the people they're supposed to be "serving" are hanging on paycheck to paycheck? Waste of money? Yup. Why are we still funding PBS? Why do we pay cops to sit at stop lights and check for who's wearing their seat belts ("Click-it or Ticket" sound familiar?)? Why do we still have NASA? Private organizations have proven that citizens can work hard enough to get into space by themselves. How about we award a private organization that can get to the moon and we let them go from there? It would create competition and open up jobs and we'd be an innovator! Imagine that!

The list can go on and on about obnoxious government spending. We all know that our government does way too much. I know that it has helped us live a life of luxury, but at what cost? We seem to be wanting to push our national debt just further on down the line so we don't have to deal with it. We have dug a hole so deep that we have stopped trying to get out of it and we only want to indulge our gluttonous idea of a "lifestyle." We live a life in these while millions of people around the world merely survive a life in these.

I really wonder exactly how much tax money is tied up in federal bureacracies and exactly how much will never actually reach any taxpayer. After all, they say that at any given time, the human colon can possibly have up to 25 pounds of undigested red meat just sitting there stewing. It doesn't do any good just sitting there.

Our government is huge and a far cry from how most of the Founders would've wanted it. It is far too elaborate for its own good and it has lost sight of its main purpose: to protect the States and defend the Constitution. Its hands are in the pocket of every legal resident of these United States and those hands withdraw once a year to give a chunk of that to every illegal resident of these United States.

I smell a segue! Parte cuatro que viene pronto!

Agent Sillyboots out.

Send one up for me.

2005-06-26T22:36:00.000-05:00

My little cousin, Ross, has just been informed that he has a condition known as Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome. It's a "congenital heart problem that affects the heart’s electrical system." Football season is going to start up in the fall and he wants to be a wide receiver, but they're monitoring his heart for a while to see exactly what it's doing.

If you could pray for him and his family, it'd be appreciated. There have been cases where it's caused sudden cardiac death. So keep them in your prayers, please.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Audio post from the field 3

2005-06-22T17:32:00.000-05:00

Audio post from the field 2

2005-06-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

Audio post from the field 1

2005-06-20T19:05:00.000-05:00

Out of the Office

2005-06-19T21:55:00.000-05:00

I'm just jumping on for a quick jab before I leave.

Ki-yah!

I'll be on a business trip from Monday 6-20 thru Friday 6-24. I seriously doubt I'll have internet access (though I will be trying to hook up Halo2 while I'm there. My handle is 'Sillyboots') so I won't be posting this week. Which is a shame because I had a "Does our country suck?" episode that I was working on this week and I won't be able to finish it in time. Oh well, perhaps when I get back.

And remember...

Derp!

...John Kerry loves you.

The Master of Disaster, the Razamattazz, the Shabang and End-all, the Fantastical Doctor of Phunk and Jack of All Trades....Agent Sillyboots out.

Oh crap...

2005-06-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

Wait...don't I live in Arkansas?!!

That's all we need.

Agent Sillyboots out.

I think Katie and Tom had a talk after all this...

2005-06-17T02:48:00.000-05:00

Again, GorillaMask came through for me. He had a video of a) Tom Cruise acting like a child on Oprah and b) Dane Cook acting like Tom Cruise acting like a child on Oprah on Jimmy Kimmel..er...yeah. That's it.

You need to watch the Dane Cook video first and then watch Tom Cruise on Oprah. You think Dane's over-exaggerating it, but he's not. At all.

After about 3 minutes of hopping around on Oprah's furniture, Tom should've been settled down by Oprah and then told to sit still or he wouldn't get his afternoon cookies and fruit juice. I know he's "in love" or whatever, but I mean, really. A man his age shouldn't act like that, at least for that extended a period of time. I think Katie would've even been a bit embarrassed.

THAT MAN PLAYED LESTAT, FOR PETE'S SAKE!! HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE THAT!!

Aaaaanywho, yeah, he made an ass out of himself.

You can't act like a school girl at Mach3. You act like a school girl, you die.

Agent Sillyboots out.

[Update:]

All eyes on this guy.

2005-06-16T23:09:00.000-05:00

I saw a bit of interesting news over at El Cid's place. A guy to keep an eye on in the next few years is Donnie Kennedy. He co-wrote The South Was Right! with his brother James Kennedy.

A great read, by the way.

But apparently he has plans to get involved in the presidential election in '08. It'd be a good shake-up if there ever was one.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Quote of the Week

2005-06-15T20:29:00.000-05:00

I was looking through some comments about the Schiavo case over at LaShawn Barber's Corner. I found this one from LaShawn particularly interesting (it was in response to our culture's move towards aborting fetuses with "undesirable" traits):

"Who’s next? Babies in utero with Down Syndrome or some other chromosomal abnormality. The very day doctors find something similar for homosexuality and parents opt to abort the fetuses is the day liberals will suddenly become pro-life, I predict.
It’ll be good to have them on the team."

I agree. When parents start to weed out children who have a major susceptibility towards homosexuality (if future science finds out that it is genetic), then we will see a massive rush of liberals to the pro-life camp. Is it that far off? After all, by slowly weeding out homosexuals, wouldn't that effectively damper the AIDS rate in America? Wouldn't it be a good thing to selectively abort fetuses with a susceptibility to molesting children? That'd be a desirable goal, right? Where does it end? Where is our science taking us? Where is the slippery slope of "progressiveness" taking us? When will it be enough?

Who knows?

Agent Sillyboots out.

Most Realistic Zombie Game Ever

2005-06-15T18:58:00.000-05:00

Come here, Blanket. Play with Daddy, Blanket.

This is probably a fake. But wouldn't that be the coolest thing in the world to get totally immersed in a game, literally? I mean, how many guys wouldn't love the chance to have a shotgun in hand with a railgun on his back and a strap full of grenades and run through a real map from a game and blast unsavory zombies into the next dimension? It'd be a great idea if he were actually able to do that to unsuspecting people. But of course, lawsuits would fly and it'd get taken off the market.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Ghetto Speak

2005-06-15T18:23:00.000-05:00

If I was a black person or a white person with Black Person Syndrome, this might run along the lines of how my blog might read.

Via GorillaMask.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Does our country suck? (part 2)

2005-06-15T18:05:00.000-05:00

Part 1.

Perhaps I should talk about sexual preferences now. You guys know that sexual preferences are a hot button with me. It should come as no surprise since I'm a Christian conservative living in a society where 2% of our population, with no difference among them except that they enjoy different sexual activities than the rest of the population, is telling the other 98% exactly what they want and that they want it now or else. Or else what? Well, they will keep up their campaign that was designed for them by the gay-saavy activists known as Erastes Pill and Marshall Kirk way back in 1987. They will bombard our culture with things that most people don't want to know about: male anal sex, "intergenerational intimacy" (cush word for "paedophilia"), random male anal sex, weekend sex parties where only squares use protection!, random triple male anal sex...well, pretty much anything having to do with the gay "culture." Most of it sickens the average American citizen. It was duly noted this past election when so many states didn't hesitate to preserve marriage by banning gay marriages. And that is the state's right. The federal government, I believe, has no right to step in and ban gay marriages in the Constitution since the states never gave the federal government that power.

Anywho, our media (and let there be no mistake, they are the current trend-setters and the trend-stoppers) has led us right into the trap of relativism and complacency. We see movies that indulge the homosexuals' lust for the spotlight. We see TV shows that portray "the gay one" as witty and the life of the party (weekend sex party where only squares use protection!, maybe). Our children are being taught in school that male anal sex is just as normal as heterosexual intercourse, even though the same schools teach biology, which reminds us that our bodies are not made for anal sex and that boys and boys can't reproduce. I don't know how they keep missing that. Companies by the city load are forcing normal humans to acknowledge the "normality" of homosexuality or they'll be fired. Google Rolf Szabo. In fact, I'll do it for you. Check out a memo that Kodak sent out to its employees about "National Coming Out Day."

"Today, Oct. 11, is the Human Rights Campaign's 15th annual National Coming Out Day for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered. If one of your employees elects to "come out" at work, there are several things you can do to help that person feel comfortable in sharing his/her orientation in the workplace..."

That's a big negative. I don't see any "National Christian Support Day" or "National Heterosexual and Normal Day." That's because no one gives a flip if I'm a Christian or if I'm straight. The main reason is because it doesn't matter who I plug in my own spare time or what God I worship in my own spare time. That's the same reason why I don't give a flip who the guy next to me plugs in his own time or what God he worships. And need I mention the people who are so messed up mentally that they spend money just to change their sex? Why would I want to hear about all that and secondly why would I feel the need to be supportive of such irresponsible actions? And I'll be damned if I let a Corporate Napoleon shove that "progressive" crap down my throat.

Then we can turn to the Boy Scouts. I won't go all the way into the many cases involving them, but let it be known that the Boy Scouts leaders would rather the young scouts not hear about their Scoutmasters' sexual episodes. It doesn't need to be discussed. They are taught a fear of God and how to be "trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent." I think the "clean" part could possibly include a message about homosexuality since the AIDS spread is due mainly to bisexual men who have unprotected sex with various men and then have unprotected sex with various women and those women have sex with various men and it just spreads from there. Or it could be referring to abstaining from promiscuous sex which almost always leads to crotch-rot.

Or it could just mean that a Scout knows he should change his underwear every day.

However, I think it's terrible how the Scouts have been lambasted by so many people in this country, whether it be from on high in D.C. or just psycho organizations like the ACLU. They (the Boy Scouts) are trying to raise our boys to be good citizens and upstanding men and people seem to think they should be able to tell this private organization how to run their own group. It's crap and it should be stopped and I'm disappointed that no one from on high in D.C. has put an end to the harrassment.

Without going anymore into the "gay thing" - since it just always seems to piss me off - I'll just leave it at what I've said so far about the government forcing us to accept something we clearly don't want to accept. If the American people truly wanted to do something about it, we could write our representatives and start the snowball of getting something done. Do we want to control our destiny? Or do we want some bureacracies and activist judges controlling them for us?

More later.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Michelle Malkin is hot.

2005-06-15T17:30:00.000-05:00

I read her from time to time, too. I particularly enjoyed this post about Rosie O'Donnell and how stupid she is. Rosie refused to let her "partner" breastfeed their latest child that her "partner" actually gave birth to. How selfish. It just really came out when Rosie said:

""I'm like, 'You've had your limit, honey, no more!'"

Then, Rosie was on The View:

"One of Rosie’s fellow panel members [Joy Behar] interjected...saying “But you know that’s an interesting conversation because in a certain way you’re doing a disservice to the baby aren’t you when you act like that?

“No, because I got to bond and cuddle,” said Rosie."

As Michelle says "Me, me, me. Nyah nyah nyah." She's selfish. She puts her own wants (to cuddle) above the baby's needs (nourishment). Sick.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Cultural relativism what?

2005-06-15T17:03:00.000-05:00

If we can't term this culture at least a little inferior to ours, then all is lost.

"An Indian rape victim is being forced by village elders to "marry" her rapist -- her father-in-law, a newspaper reported on Wednesday."

Yeah. That's sad. If that happened here, heads would roll and big brothers would load up their shotguns. But wait! The brothers are getting involved!

"Her four brothers have agreed to the edict. She has not but in India, victims of crime often have nowhere to turn and with even her own family supporting the edict she may have little choice."

Hey, if you can't trust family, who can you trust?

Hat tip to SC&A.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Schiavo Autopsy

2005-06-15T10:33:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning on my couch to the sound of a doctor giving the results of the Terri Schiavo autopsy. At the end of her life, he said, she was blind and her brain weighed half as much as was expected. No amount of therapy at that point would've done any good. So I guess we know the answer to that.

At the time the big uproar was going on, Terri was, medically speaking, beyond repair (so says this autopsy). What about soon after she had collapsed? Would she have been able, with adequate therapy, to at least regain some of her facilities? It's a moot point now, but no one seems to know the answer to that. Did Michael Schiavo do everything in his power from day one to see to it that she recovered? I doubt it.

It seems the boys from South Park were closer to the truth than most: "Cartman's side [who wanted Kenny (Terri) to die] is right, for the wrong reasons. Our side [who wanted Kenny (Terri) to live] is wrong for the right reasons." The "right to life" crowd (myself included) wanted to have Terri's state reevaluated before sending her on her way. We never made concrete statements about her state, we just wanted to know exactly who the courts were going to murder. They didn't know exactly what state she was in, but they were so determined to murder her.

At least some of these cases of family members wanting to kill off their "loved" ones don't end in death. Thank God.

Agent Sillyboots out.

[Update:] I found in the news that there was also no evidence of Terri having an eating disorder. I've heard people say that she "got what she deserved" because they view eating disorders as a reason for someone to die. "Live by the sword, die by the sword", I've heard. Well, since she didn't have an eating disorder and she wasn't drugged or abused, what was the cause? What could've been done immediately after her collapse to prevent her from being kept alive for so long only to meet an unnatural demise? Who knows? At this point, no one does.

There are reasons I'm glad I'm not a woman.

2005-06-14T19:51:00.000-05:00

I could never be a woman. I don't mean a "whoa-man" like the walking mockery Peter/Carol Stone. I mean, a real woman with real female organs. For starters, Aunt Flo. Then there's all the cramps and terrible mood swings and the inability to reason (was that too far?). But the woman has something that men don't have. They can give birth, beget life, nuture that life. They are intricately linked to the lives that they produce ("mother's intutition") and every life that they are gateways for is really and truly a piece of her own body. It's for this reason that we are finding out that abortion, by and large, is very detrimental to women later in life. There are stories about women who celebrate, what would've been, their baby's birthday; women who try to get pregnant again to "make up" for the life that they had killed; women who end up with self-loathing for the rest of their lives due to guilt. Those reasons aside, medical issues are abundant. Women who have had abortions are more likely to get breast cancer; women who have had abortions are more likely to have miscarriages; women who have had abortions are more likely to have fertility problems later in life. It seems to me almost like smoking 3 packs a day even though you know exactly what's going to happen to your lungs in a decade or two. However, smoking doesn't end up in an innocent baby being beaten to death.

It's odd. We have police who are willing to wear night-vision goggles to catch people not wearing their seatbelt in order to protect us from ourselves. However, our legislators are wholly willing to pawn off these young mothers all in the name of "progressiveness." Not to mention failing to protect the unborn. But who cares? The unborn don't pay taxes!

I can't do anything but feel bad for women who have lost their children to abortion. From what I hear, they have a long road ahead of them.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Sister Vicar

2005-06-13T16:03:00.000-05:00

Disgusting.

Brother and Sister? Cousins? Nope. Freak of nature.

So a Church of England "vicar" holds the...honor?...of being the first such official to undergo a sex change operation. Wonderful. So I assume this brought an uproar within the CoE community and calls for excommunication went up from every congregation and bishop...

Nope. This walking mockery gets to resume its position of moral authority as a shepherd to its flock.

The whole problem with this situation is the meaning of what a "man" is and what a "woman" is. In Christianity, a "man" has certain roles such as protector of the family, breadwinner, and moral conservative/teacher. A "woman" has certain roles such as nurturer, life-giver, and supportive teacher. Christian leaders are supposed to know that. Christian leaders are supposed to know that only the mentally unstable people have a sincere and undying wish to "correct" God's choice of gender for them. It should not be allowed to continue in any authoritative capacity seeing as how It can't seem to grasp the role that apparently God had wished for him (since originally, It was a man) to take. This kind of "person" is in no shape to be the moral authority for any flock.

Another problem with this, which most may not even think of, is that Peter/Carol Stone's story can be used as timber to fuel the fire of Christian Re-incarnationism. "Perhaps," some misguided young Christian might say, "Peter Stone actually was a woman in a past life and that's why this godly man has such a yearning to be a woman." The site I linked to will be sufficient for now to show why Christians are not allowed to believe in reincarnation. In a nutshell, reincarnation denies the Resurrection of both Christ and the human race. Also, it denies Unique Creation of mankind (humans of today were, at one point in their past lives, animals and have worked their way up to being human), strips away the power of grace (by installing the ladder system I just referred to where lower life forms become higher life forms), abolishes original sin (nature and, by implication, humans were not affected by any "original act of obedience" that brought sin into this world, even though Christianity teaches that nature has been in a fallen state ever since the Garden), and makes null-and-void the Crucifixion. If the Resurrection is denied, says St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:12-19, then the Christian life is a waste and we deserve pity instead of respect.

That was kind of a tangent, but I think it was worth it.

Agent Sillyboots out.

A waste of technology

2005-06-13T09:25:00.000-05:00

Maybe Maryland can send some of those night vision goggles down to the Mexican border so we can capture people who are actually breaking legitimate laws.

"The new strategy is paying off. Officers say they issued at least 44 tickets for seat belt violations."

So what? That's not something to be proud of. How many murders have you solved? How many kidnapped children have you recovered? How many hostage situations have you resolved? Seatbelt laws are unconstitutional and completely ridiculous.

We, as a country, have a compulsory need to mix up our priorities.

Agent Sillyboots out.

I laughed for 2-3/4 minutes...exactly.

2005-06-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

That snake was trying to shave my head!! I don't like that snake.

And who doesn't love Brian Peppers? I found it over at Gorilla Mask (a must read every few days). If you haven't seen the "Brian Fellows" bit that Tracy Morgan did, then you won't get the humor. That's cuh-razy.

Agent Sillyboots out.

p.s. If it's any consolation to Mikey...yes, Mikey did blog on it before GorillaMask did.

(pun alert) Not a-musing...

2005-06-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

If I run across one more blog with the word "musing" in its title...I swear...I am going to...go to a different blog and hope it doesn't have "musing" in its title. Seriously, it's getting overused almost as much as the word "rant."

I thought maybe I was the only one getting tired of this epidemic. I guess not.

But really, folks, if you feel like making a blog from this day forward (June 10, 2005), please do not use the following words in your title: musings, rants, random, meekrob, or horsey.

Thank you. And g'nite.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Worst Magazine Cover

2005-06-10T21:45:00.000-05:00

Founds this at my weekly romp at Ebaum's world. Someone really should've caught it. Or maybe people like me just have a really depraved mind.

Agent Sillyboots out.

p.s. In case you didn't notice...the title looks like it says "Penis." Geez.

Napoleon Dyna-Bee

2005-06-10T21:23:00.000-05:00

I laughed so hard at this video I fell out of my computer chair. I can just picture me and my friends doing this. But to have Napoleon Dynamite quoted at a Spelling Bee is just amazing. Two thumbs way up to this guy and his huge cajones.

It's funny at the end, the announcer says "Was that a secret message?". I can't tell if the guy is a Charlie or a Wind-talker, so if he was sending coded messages, I'm not sure which side it was to.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Pissing in the Mainstream (June 7, 2005)

2005-06-07T20:56:00.000-05:00

I've decided to start a new series dedicated to people or groups who are taking this country and culture in a new direction: downward. The American people have held a certain identity since our nationhood became official. We have been spiritual, conservative, and tradition-based. Some people want to mold the United States into a European country while claiming that Europe is the new America. They say that we should take our cues from Europe. Let me tell ya something, folks. The people who came to this country left in order to make something new and better. When our national ancestors came across and colonized this land, "America" was born. Our values, morals, foundations, and beliefs were instilled into this land. Before there was "the United States", there was "America." Long after "the United States" is gone, there will still be "America." Americans are spiritual, since we believe our rights are derived from a personal higher Power. We believe in freedom and the God-given right to pursue happiness. We are the shining light of the West. People by the boatload come over every day just to enjoy what our country can do for them. We are supposed to be the trend setters. We should be our own policy makers. Our country should be the mold that all other free nations should be trying to fit into. We need to clean ourselves up and fill our role. With that in mind in this new series, I'll be taking a look at a few people who want to keep contaminating our effort by....Pissing in the Mainstream.

What better group of people to look at than the Episcopalians? Ever since the arrival of Gene Robinson on the religious stage, the Episcopalians just haven't been able to get rid of the stigma of a "gay-friendly" church. If you're a night club and you're "gay-friendly", then fine. If you're a private university and you're "gay-friendly", then fine. But if you're a high church that claims Christianity and who has been historically (somewhat) "conservative", then "gay-friendly" is the exact opposite of what you want to shoot for. And by "gay-friendly", I mean you make sure all gay people understand that you don't judge them because of their lifestyle and you think it's perfectly fine what they do in the privacy of their own home and no "God" would ever condemn you based on the way that She made you. And to be a "gay friendly" church, you must ...must... allow gay people to hold positions of authority and be shepherds to the flock and they should be the moral authorities that struggling Christians should be able to look up to.

It's the only way.

Horse hockey. As I've mentioned before, a church doesn't have to accept gays into their "management" any more than a bank has to accept convicted and determind thieves to have the only entry code for the money vault. A Christian church should realize that homosexuality is against God's law, both the moral law and the natural law (it is biologically backwards, after all). If gays kneel before God and church and request true assistance in overcoming their sin (like every other faithful Christian is required to do), then I see no problem in letting them in so they can receive holy treatment from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. But if they are not ashamed of their perversion of grace and existence and they are quite determined to flip God the bird at every turn, then I see no reason to strive for communion with them. I certainly see no reason to cover up for them or support them when they finally come out of the closet and are proud of their perversion. I am glad of all of the good work that Gene Robinson has done in his life and I praise God for the lives that he's touched, but I see no good reason at all to let him be in a position of moral authority when the eternal souls of his sheep are at stake. He's oblivious to a grave sin of his own, so how can he see clearly enough to help others remove sin from their own lives?

I didn't even want to talk about Gene Robinson today (I've done that enough in the past). I really wanted to talk about the mockery of worship that the Episcopalian church now sees as routine. A glaring and utterly disgusting example is this:

A "Blessed" and "Holy" Clown Eucharist. Hat Tip to Fr. Joseph.

When you think about historic Christianity, what images come to mind? What symbols of the Divine have we been left by those who lived closer to the faith and to God than most people can ever dream of? Perhaps the dove, the symbol for peace and security. Or maybe the lamb, the symbol of innocence which Jesus embodied. What about the powerful lion, the symbol of strength and nobility (Jesus was the Lion of Judah, after all).

NOPE! YOU'RE WRONG!!

When you think about historic Christianity, this is the image you really should come up with.

Surprise! God loves you!

The thinking behind this atrocity is that we are to be "fools for Christ." How fitting! But no, they're serious.

"...think about it this way: how we perceive the world in light of our relationship with Jesus could rightly be called foolish. Jesus looked at things in a new and strange way - a foolish way. But, as St. Paul said, the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of the world. Paul declared himself a fool for Christ's sake. "

Ah. Nice. They took a few verses from the Bible with the word "fool" or "foolish" in them and decided that was precedent enough to dress up like clowns and partake of the True Body and True Blood of the Savior in a light-hearted, irreverent manner. But here's the deal, guys. Of course our knowledge and perceptions cannot be trusted enough to coincide directly with God's and, in contrast to God's, can rightly be called foolish since God is infinately higher than us. However, God trusted our knowledge and perceptions enough to give us a pattern to go by that would help us to get closer to His knowledge and His perception of reality...which, of course...is Reality. God told us to reverently adore His Son, to listen to Him, obey Him, be still and know. One of the ways we do this is by "coming together on the first day of the week" (Acts 20:7) and joining the rest of the Christian world in embracing the True Presence of Christ in His Eucharist (Gr. thanksgiving). This is to be done solemnly and seriously...not with clowns and seltzer. If any other ceremony were to take place using clowns, it would be seen as blasphemous in its own right. But somehow (yet again), these Episcopalians have found a way around tradition, servitude, humility, and decency.

Hats off to ya, ECUSA!

Agent Sillyboots out.

[Update:] Here's another picture I found.

Yeah, he's holding up the Eucharistic bread. To Christians, that is the Real Body of Christ. To Episcopalians, it's a prop.

A Surprising Fact about Obi-Wan Kinobi

2005-06-05T14:39:00.000-05:00

He was a Sith Lord.

He had to be since he said, "Only Siths deal in absolutes."

And since that itself is an absolute, then Obi-Wan is either a Sith Lord or he speaks without thinking. Both, of course, ARE AGAINST THE CODE OF THE JEDI! YOU MUST SEARCH YOUR FEELINGS! YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE!

Geez, how many times did you hear that during Episode III?

Agent Sillyboots out.

Change your race! Even your age!

2005-06-05T00:09:00.000-05:00

I found this site via the dude over at GorillaMask. It's a Face Transformer. You upload a picture, zoom in on the face, match up the eyes and mouth, then you transform it. You can make it East Asian, Caucasian, Afro-something, older, younger, or "artsy." Since I had a professor in college who was koo-koo for Botticelli and since the Botticelli transformation was a choice, I decided to give it a try. This is how Botticelli would've drawn me (I had to take the picture with my cell phone, so disregard the "refresh" lines):

Not entirely bad. However, the artists who excel in the style of "Manga" were a bit harsher on Gary Busey:

I'm not entirely sure why it ended up looking like that...but it scared the crap out of me the first time I saw it.

Agent Sillyboots out.

CLAAAAH!!

2005-06-04T16:01:00.000-05:00

Oh, those crazy Japanese. Or Chinese. Or Korean. Or Vietnamese. Or Laotian. Or Thai. Whatever. They're crazy.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Down Under

2005-06-04T14:28:00.000-05:00

File this under "We'll soon be doing this like crazy in our country at the tax payers' expense."

Agent Sillyboots out.

Some people just need to see this...

2005-06-04T09:30:00.000-05:00

Agent Sillyboots out.

"This page is loading weird..."

2005-06-03T01:24:00.000-05:00

Interesting site design. The first horizontal blog. It's the first I've seen at least. Interesting. Functional? Practical? I'm not sure yet. But it sure is enough to make me curious. Check it out, already.

Agent Sillyboots out.

calling all animators

2005-06-02T18:11:00.000-05:00

Aight, guys. If you live in Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Missouri, or Louisiana (hell, if you live in these United States) and you can animate, let me know. I need an animator, whether it be through Flash or other computer program, or if you can animate with good ol' paper and pencil. I'm planning a cartoon with a few friends but none of us can animate for crap. It's gonna be a fun project that would be a great addition to the line-up on Comedy Central, Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, or anywhere on Spike TV.

Email me at agentsillyboots@yahoo.com.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Another co-worker falls victim to...The Blog

2005-06-02T12:25:00.000-05:00

I got Mikey to start up his blog a month or so ago. Now I've got my buddy Jerry to start one up, too. He was right to observe:

"My co-worker AgentSillyboots (Real name not given for reasons...uhhh....just because) told me to goto his website yesterday and check out his page."

That's right. I'm a mystery. The only person who was ever more secret than me was 'Deep Throat' but now since he's out in the open, my identity remains the last fortress of anonymity in the free world. ArklahomBoy was right when he dubbed me "the most secret of all agents."

Agent Sillyboots out.

The very Reverend DJ Sharpie

2005-06-01T13:33:00.000-05:00

Oh, this oughta be fun. Rush Limbaugh training Al Sharpton to be the official "Limbaugh of the left." Sharpton's out of his mind. Not just because of this, but he's just crazy. Tawana Brawley, what? Vieques, what? "Reverend" at age 10, what? Defending guilty scum, what?

I like Weird Republic. You should, too. Let's hold hands.

Agent Sillyboots out.

I never woulda guessed...

2005-06-01T13:12:00.000-05:00

Recent elaborate, overfunded studies have shown that children that are taught how to eat properly will learn how to eat properly.

Studies also suggest that children can be taught how to color inside the lines, tie their shoes, and wipe themselves.

Lord, please let this program not be federally funded! We keep wondering why we're more in debt than ever.

Agent Sillyboots out.

2005-05-31T16:57:00.000-05:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

The "A" should be taken out of their name.

2005-05-31T15:49:00.000-05:00

I hate the ACLU so damn much.

Agent Sillyboots out.

It's a miracle!

2005-05-31T14:34:00.000-05:00

Worshippers of good cinema have flocked to Little Rock, Arkansas for a Memorial Day Week miracle. As we all know, Gary Busey played the role of a retired psychotic, but helpful and goodhearted, military officer in the Farley/Spade movie Black Sheep. So it comes as no surprise that the movie gods would shine down and imprint Busey's glorious face (chompers and all) on a random concrete wall. Can you see it?

This is not real and I don't think this wall is even in Little Rock. I just got bored and I have Photoshop.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Another word on Revenge of the Sith

2005-05-30T20:04:00.000-05:00

As I was sitting there watching Episode III, I remember the words of my friend, Mikey, who said that if James Earl Jones didn't do the voice of Darth Vader, then he didn't want to see it. When pressed as to why, he said that if they didn't even feel like putting the effort into it to make it as much like the first three (Episodes IV-VI) as possible, then he didn't want to sit through it. So as I watched the movie for the second time (first time by myself, second time with my brother-in-law), I listened to the voice to see if it was Mufasa or someone else. I surely thought it was JEJ, but I couldn't be sure without watching the credits. Of course, the credits ended up not mentioning who the voice of Darth Vader was. So I found solace in the internet and found out that it was, indeed, JEJ. I like James Earl Jones. And I should never have doubted that he would come back to do the voice of Darth Vader so many years after he originally did it. After all, he did play, once again, Mr. Mertle on Sandlot 2 a full 12 years after the original came out.

JEJ is a man of consistency.

James Earl Vader

Agent Sillyboots out.

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas

2005-05-30T01:41:00.000-05:00

Oh wait, wrong holiday. It just so happens that I just turned on my Winamp© and the Rockapella version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" was the first on the list. I love those guys.

So please pray for our troops this Memorial Day and remember all of those who have died in order that we might have the kind of life we have. Pray that our troops can come home as soon as humanly (or Godly) possible. We want them back home and out of that hotbed of hatred. And if I hear about any of you spitting on a soldier (marine, sailor, etc) then I will personally go find that guy that spit on Jane Fonda and we'll beat your fool head in. Peace!

Agent Sillyboots out.

So I saw Star Wars Episode III the other nite...

2005-05-25T01:51:00.000-05:00

[Insert generic post about the parallels between Star Wars and Christianity]

Agent Sillyboots out.

I've made a purchase!

2005-05-22T23:52:00.000-05:00

My buddy Arklahomboy has good taste. He knows how to live the life of a true hi-roller. That's why he owns one of these (I think that's the one he bought. He'll correct me if I'm wrong).

I, however, am a simple man with simpler tastes. That's why I just purchased one of these.

That's from the newest episode of Tom Goes to the Mayor. It airs new episodes on Sunday nites at 11:15pm (Central Time) on Cartoon Network.

Pipe Camp! Pipe Camp! Thank you, Lord, for Pipe Camp!

I'm eccentric.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Hesh Wants U.N. Sex

2005-05-22T16:26:00.000-05:00

I haven't heard about this in the news. Have you?

I hate the U.N. We shouldn't be involved in it anymore. Our federal government shouldn't be taking our tax dollars and sending it to 3rd world, war-torn countries when we so desperately need it here. If churches or other charity organizations want to raise money and send it to the countries themselves, then let them. That's good. But not our tax money. Our government shouldn't be involved like that. Just another showcasing of how overgrown our federal government is.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Wait, did she just...wait....

2005-05-22T01:19:00.000-05:00

Great this is. Took me by surprise, it did.

Agent Sillyboots out.

This is why "science" can't be and end-all.

2005-05-22T01:06:00.000-05:00

We can't even decide if the sun is good for our skin or not. What, are they flipping a coin on their "discoveries" or something?

"Well, we can't really say that vitamin D and vitamin C are bad for you in the same month. Head's, D is bad for you. Tails, C is bad for you." [flip of the coin] "Oh! Sorry, Florida! Your orange crop quotas shall go wanting!"

The "scientists" could always go back to claiming that red M&M's cause cancer. At least that was creative.

Agent Sillyboots out.

Gallagher 1...Watermelon 0

2005-05-20T22:56:00.000-05:00

So I finally got the pictures developed. I had them put on a CD so I could post them faster, so the quality is a little off. But they're still good pictures seeing as how I was in the 20th row and I had to rely on other camera flashes and the spotlight above me for lighting assistance. But here ya go:

This is Mikey, the friend I went to the show with.

Of course, he had to entertain the crowd before the show.

Yes, I met the master. I think he tried to check my oil.

Gallagher came out on his legendary Big Wheels© tricycle. It's friggin' 'uge.

He had to do the "sing-and-dance" bit for the kids. He told some jokes and had some prop comedy before the chaotic Sledge-O-Matic©.

This is the first whack. You can tell because a) his shirt's still on and b) he's not covered in mayonnaise and mustard.

Just a good ol' fashioned slammer.

This is Gallagher after many pie tins full of condiments and random foods. This is what I paid to see.

Come to think of it, I think thisis what I paid to see. Yes, he's ruining a watermelon's day.

I have no friggin idea what happened in this picture. For some reason, my camera decided to go blur on me. But hey, I think I see some baldness forming on that guy in front of me.

Bukkake 1.

Bukkake 2.

That's about all of the pictures from Gallagher I have that are worth showing. Sorry if they're really hard to see. The camera wasn't the best and I was pretty far away. But it was still fun.

One more picture for you. I took this just so I could finish out the roll of film. It turned out pretty good.

This is my chow, Sasha. All my friends used to come over and spit on the ground and watch her lick it up. Dogs are gross.

Agent Sillyboots out.